I Installed a Bidet and I'm Never Going Back: A Convert's Guide

Six months ago, if you had told me I’d be writing a passionate defense of washing my butt with water instead of paper, I’d have questioned your sanity. I was peak American toilet paper traditionalist—the idea of bidets seemed foreign, complicated, and frankly unnecessary.

Then my toilet paper disappeared during the great pandemic shortage of 2020 (yes, I’m a late adopter), and desperation led me to Amazon where I found myself staring at bidet attachments, wondering if this was really my life now.

Best $35 I’ve ever spent.

I’m not exaggerating. After six months of bidet life, going back to paper-only feels barbaric. It’s like the difference between taking a shower and just rubbing yourself down with dry towels—technically functional, but why would you choose that?

This isn’t about being fancy or European. This is about discovering that there’s a objectively better way to handle one of life’s most basic functions, and wondering why nobody told me about this years ago.

The American Bidet Resistance

Let’s address the cultural weirdness first. Americans are oddly resistant to bidets despite enthusiastically adopting every other bathroom innovation. We’ll spend $300 on smart toilet seats that heat up and play music, but suggest washing instead of just wiping and suddenly everyone’s uncomfortable.

Common American bidet concerns I had:

• “It seems gross” (spoiler: it’s the opposite)
• “It’s complicated to install” (took me 20 minutes, no plumber needed)
• “It’ll spray water everywhere” (modern attachments are surprisingly precise)
• “It’s expensive” (cheaper than three months of quality toilet paper)
• “What if guests think it’s weird?” (they ask where to buy one)

Every single concern was wrong. Not just slightly wrong—completely backwards wrong.

The Hygiene Reality Check

Here’s an uncomfortable truth: toilet paper alone doesn’t get you clean. It just smears things around until they’re thin enough that you can’t see them. If you got poop on your hand, would you just wipe it with dry paper and call it good? Of course not—you’d wash it with water.

Why is your butt different?

Water cleaning is objectively more effective. It removes bacteria that paper just redistributes. It eliminates the irritation that comes from repeatedly dragging rough paper across sensitive skin. It prevents the “endless wiping” situation that sometimes happens with paper alone.

After six months of bidet life, the few times I’ve had to use paper-only bathrooms feel genuinely gross. It’s like trying to brush your teeth by just rubbing them with a dry towel.

Installation: Easier Than You Think

I was convinced I’d need a plumber, special electrical work, or major bathroom modifications. Nope. Modern bidet attachments install on your existing toilet in about 20 minutes with basic tools.

What’s actually involved:

1. Turn off water supply to toilet
2. Remove toilet seat
3. Install bidet attachment between toilet and seat
4. Connect water line (included T-valve connects to existing supply)
5. Turn water back on
6. Test and adjust

That’s it. No electrical work (for basic models), no plumbing changes, no permanent modifications to your bathroom.

The LUXE Bidet NEO 120 is what I installed first—single nozzle, adjustable pressure, under $35. It took longer to read the instructions than to actually install it.

The Types: From Basic to Bougie

Non-Electric Attachments ($25-80): These connect to your toilet’s water supply and rely on water pressure for spray control. Perfect for testing whether you like the concept without major investment.

• Single nozzle for rear cleaning
• Dual nozzle adds front cleaning option
• Self-cleaning nozzles prevent bacterial buildup
• Adjustable pressure control

Electric Bidet Seats ($200-800): These replace your entire toilet seat with heated water, air drying, and temperature control.

• Heated water and seat
• Variable pressure and temperature
• Air dry function
• Sometimes includes deodorizing and night lights

Built-in Toilet/Bidets ($1,000+): Full toilet replacement with integrated bidet functions. Maximum features but requires professional installation.

For most people, a $35-50 attachment is the perfect starting point. You can always upgrade later if you become a convert.

The Learning Curve (It’s Short)

Day 1: This feels weird, am I doing this right, why is the water cold, did I just spray water all over my bathroom?

Day 3: Okay, I’m getting the hang of the pressure settings, this is actually pretty refreshing.

Week 1: This is genuinely cleaner than paper alone, and my irritated skin is already feeling better.

Week 2: I’ve stopped using as much toilet paper, this is saving money faster than I expected.

Month 1: I’m slightly annoyed when I have to use bathrooms without bidets.

Month 3: I’m researching bidets for my office bathroom and considering them as gifts for family members.

Month 6: I’m writing blog posts advocating for bidets because everyone needs to know about this.

The adjustment period is measured in days, not weeks. The benefits are immediate and obvious.

Real-World Benefits I Didn’t Expect

Toilet Paper Savings: I use about 75% less toilet paper now. A few squares for drying instead of the entire roll for cleaning. The bidet paid for itself in three months just from reduced paper costs.

Medical Benefits: Less irritation, fewer hemorrhoid issues, reduced UTI risk (especially for women). If you have any ongoing bathroom-related discomfort, bidets often provide significant relief.

Mobility Benefits: As people age or deal with injuries, reaching and wiping becomes more difficult. Bidets require minimal movement and provide better cleaning for people with limited mobility.

Environmental Impact: Massive reduction in toilet paper use means fewer trees cut down, less water used in paper manufacturing, and less packaging waste.

Cleanliness for Illness: When dealing with stomach issues, bidets are gentler on irritated skin than repeated paper wiping. Game-changing for IBS, recovery from surgery, or any digestive problems.

Addressing the Weird Questions

“Don’t you still need toilet paper?” Yes, but just for drying. Instead of using toilet paper to clean (ineffectively), you use water to clean (effectively) and paper just to dry off.

“Isn’t the water cold?” Basic models use ambient water temperature, which feels cold initially but isn’t uncomfortable. Electric models heat the water, but honestly, room temperature water stops feeling cold after the first few days.

“What about water pressure—won’t it be too strong?” All models have adjustable pressure. Start low and adjust up. Modern attachments are designed for comfort, not power-washing your undercarriage.

“Do you have to aim it?” Nozzles are positioned and angled to hit the right areas automatically. Some models have adjustable nozzle positions, but basic models work fine without manual aiming.

“What if guests are confused?” Include simple instructions: “Turn knob clockwise for spray, adjust pressure with lever, turn counter-clockwise to stop.” Most people figure it out intuitively.

Installation Mistakes to Avoid

Not turning off water supply: You’ll flood your bathroom. Turn off the valve behind the toilet first.

Over-tightening connections: Hand-tight plus a quarter turn is enough. Over-tightening can crack plastic parts or strip threads.

Ignoring the rubber gaskets: These prevent leaks. Make sure they’re properly seated before tightening connections.

Forgetting to test before full installation: Connect everything, turn water back on, test for leaks and proper operation before fully mounting the bidet and seat.

Not checking toilet seat compatibility: Most toilets work with bidet attachments, but measure your seat mounting points to ensure proper fit.

Upgrade Path for Converts

Start with a basic attachment: The LUXE Bidet NEO 120 proves the concept cheaply and effectively.

Add features as desired: Dual nozzles, heated water, self-cleaning functions, temperature control.

Consider electric seats later: After you’re convinced of the benefits, electric bidet seats provide luxury features like heated seats, warm air drying, and precise temperature control.

Full toilet replacement: Only necessary for new construction or major bathroom renovations. Attachments and seat replacements handle 95% of bidet benefits.

The Hygiene Ecosystem

Bidets work best as part of an overall bathroom hygiene upgrade:

Electric toothbrushes: If you’re upgrading one daily hygiene routine, might as well upgrade them all. Electric toothbrushes remove plaque more effectively than manual brushing.

Water flossers: Another water-based hygiene upgrade that’s more effective than traditional methods. Seeing a pattern here?

Toilet bowl cleaners: Bidets actually help keep toilets cleaner by reducing the amount of waste that sticks to bowls, but good cleaning products are still essential.

What We Recommend

Getting Started with Bidets:

Beginner-Friendly Options:

• LUXE Bidet NEO 120 - Single nozzle, adjustable pressure, proven reliability

Complete Bathroom Hygiene:

• Check our complete guide to bidet attachments for all options and budgets
• Upgrade your oral care with electric toothbrushes
• Add water flossers for complete water-based hygiene
• Keep everything clean with toilet bowl cleaners

The Convert’s Confession

I feel like I need to apologize to every person who mentioned bidets over the years while I dismissed them as unnecessary or weird. You were right. I was wrong. I’m sorry.

This isn’t about cultural superiority or bathroom luxury—it’s about discovering that there’s a simple, inexpensive upgrade that makes a daily necessity more comfortable, more hygienic, and more pleasant.

The weirdest part isn’t using a bidet—it’s realizing that wiping with dry paper is actually the weird option. Most of the world figured this out centuries ago. We Americans are the outliers here, stubbornly clinging to a less effective method because it’s what we’ve always done.

If you’re on the fence about trying a bidet, just order a basic attachment. It’s $35 and 20 minutes of installation time. If you hate it, you can remove it and return it. But I’m betting you won’t.

I’m betting that in six months, you’ll be writing your own bidet conversion story and wondering why nobody told you about this years ago.

The bathroom revolution is real, it’s affordable, and it’s life-changing. Join us. Your butt will thank you.